My pet peeve

This morning I decided to do some writing at Panera. The Charlotte Paneras are participating in a new rewards program, My Panera. I had earned a free smoothie just for registering my card, so I decided today would be the day I would redeem my delicious treat. Plus, the Panera I went to has an abundance of outlets so it's a pretty good place to work when I have to be plugged in.

As someone who works from home, I appreciate coffee shops and restaurants that are "computer-friendly." That is, I appreciate those places that recognize there are people who frequent their businesses as a place to get food and drink, but also to get some work accomplished. I'm not a coffee drinker so I didn't frequent the coffee shops during my undergraduate and first two graduate school adventures, but I found it necessary to get out of the house to do work when I started my doctorate. Places like Panera and Starbucks became part of my regular "work" rotation. I gathered with research partners to discuss ideas and write papers, and I met friends to work side-by-side as we would grind through our respective projects. I had an office at school, but found it to be horrible for actually doing work because I was constantly interrupted by questions, especially as I became a senior member of the research team. Thus, the coffee shops became my second office. Now that I have no office alternative, I appreciate these places even more.

Because I use these places for work, I've become a bit of a snob when it comes to how other non-working people use these places. My experience today is an example of my pet-peeve: Non-computer people sitting at the outlet-accessible tables. If you're a non-computer person, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about and that's why I'm educating you today. Most coffee shops that offer Wi-Fi have a fair amount of outlets, especially if they've opened in the last few years. However, not all of the tables have access to outlets so the ones that do are in high demand. In fact, I used to carry a power strip with me so that more people could use the outlets near me. Therefore, nothing irritates me more than seeing a person without a computer sitting at a precious outlet-accessible table. I want that outlet, I NEED that outlet, and those people are just being selfish.

As I mentioned, the Panera I visited today has an outlet abundance so I generally can find one without any problems as I did today. I know every table that has an outlet so it's pretty easy for me to do a quick scan and settle in to my spot. I sat at a small table meant for two, but once I put a laptop on it, it became a table for one. Two booths were on the opposite wall, and both of the booths have outlets. They are premium spots for groups to work together, and my husband and I have claimed these booths many Sunday afternoons to crank through our work together. Because I've used them, I know their magical powers and thus I get very upset when I see people sitting at them who are not using the outlets, as I did today. Some woman sat in the booth, alone, and drank her coffee and read her book and never seemed to be aware that she was sitting at the magic table. She may have gleaned something from my dirty looks, but it was probably just that I was rude and not that she was wasting the special talents of the booth she was sitting in. Poor booth.

I understand that people like booths, and this Panera has many booths without outlets. In fact, it's just these two booths that have outlets and that's why I get so upset when they are in use by non-computer users. Go sit in one of the other booths! My anger isn't booth specific either. I hate when non-computer people sit at the two person table with the outlet when the same table next to it is just a little too far from the outlet to be usable for a computer person like me. I feel like those people are purposely taunting me.

So if you're ever at Panera or Starbucks or any place that people generally hang out and play on their laptops, do a quick check before you sit down and make sure you're not being an outlet hog. The Real Housewife of Charlotte, and the graduate students of the world, will thank you.

Nothing to say

I have sat down to write a post at least once a day over the last week, but haven't been able to formulate a complete idea. I contemplated writing a post full of the random things that pop into my head, but decided nobody needed to be exposed to the unedited ramblings of my brain. At least not yet.

Instead, I've been staring at my little box on Blogger, trying to figure out what to say. And I still have nothing much to write about, so I guess I'll just fill you in on what I've been doing over the last week.

Nothing.

That's not true actually. I've been very busy writing an article for publication, and my writer's block seems to be lifting. However, my interest in the topic I'm writing about is rapidly decreasing, so that has the potential to be a problem. At this point, I just want to finish it so I don't have to worry about it anymore.

I'm also applying for jobs. I think I sent out five resumes in the last week. I don't think I'm cut out for this housewife business, at least not long term. I've been at home for almost a year, and I think I'm reaching my limit. I can't say I'm more "housewifey" than I was a year ago except that I am actually in my house more than before we moved to Charlotte, and I don't think that really counts as a housewife activity.

I also watched Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince about sixteen times last week. It's in the HBO rotation, and I have 14 HBO channels so it's on television quite a bit. Most people would probably get sick of a movie if they saw it sixteen times in one week, but I still felt the need to watch it On Demand this afternoon. Nevermind that I also have it on DVD. And I decided to re-read the book. I believe that is what is known as hyperfocus.

If only my research or cleaning were as exciting to me as Harry Potter...

A real Real Housewife activity

Today, I'm doing my best impersonation of a real Real Housewife of Charlotte. I'm spending the day at a country club.

My husband and I belong to a country club. It's not what you think - we didn't pay an enormous initiation fee or have ridiculous dues or anything. Country clubs are a way of life in Charlotte. For example, we have three, no FOUR, within a two mile radius of our place. It's kind of ridiculous. Anyway, our neighborhood has a country club and the initiation fees and dues are part of the home owners association so it just made sense to join.

Our club offers a lot, including a restaurant/bar with good food, four televisions, and a table next to an outlet. Really, the table next to the outfit is key for me because I like to go to the restaurant/bar and work. Generally it's very quiet, except for Fridays when all the golfers descend upon quiet place, drink a lot, and get obnoxiously loud. There is also no internet access, which is usually good for me because I get distracted by things like the internet. (I can get internet, when I need to, but that's another story.) The other major benefit is that I can get up and go to the bathroom while I'm working without fear of someone swiping my stuff, which is the major downside to places like Panera and Starbucks. I love those places, but when I'm working alone, use of the bathroom usually signals that it's time to pack up and go.

So today I'm working at the club, but not without a little eavesdropping first.

Usually it's just men in here, who stop in for a drink and a snack after golfing. They have two conversations: 1) Tiger Woods, and whether his extracurricular activities have affected their perception of him, his popularity, and/or his golf game, and 2) Poorly dissecting whatever non-golf sporting event is happening at the time. For men who claim to be sports fanatics and refuse to let me change the televisions off of the ESPN networks, they really know very little about sports. For example, this was the conversation I overheard during the World Cup:

Dope 1: "The US plays tomorrow (Thursday) at 10am against Slovakia ."
Actually, they played Friday against Slovenia, as I had just told the dope who incorrectly repeated this information to his friend.

Dope 2: "They have the possibility of advancing, but we gotta get through England first."
All true, except the US had already played England and tied 1-1.

My favorite quotes were during March Madness, but I can't remember the quotes for the life of me. I do remember thinking, "This is ACC country, the supposed Mecca of college basketball, and you don't even know that UNI upset Kansas?"

The women, on the other hand, gossip about the other women in the club. They talk about everything, and quite viciously at times. Today, it was about a woman in their tennis league and whether she can really afford to continue in the tennis league, given her financial situation. I mean, her car has 200,000 miles on it and if she can't afford to get a new one, how can she afford to play in the tennis league? Over a lunch, these women decided to replace the woman with the difficult financial situation. They weren't going to ask her, of course, whether she was planning to continue playing tennis or really what her financial situation was. They just were going to replace her. Got it.

This is my fear of becoming a real housewife - I could become one of these women. I gossip and judge people of course, and I'm obviously doing it right now, but I don't spread rumors about people and I definitely don't make decisions to cut people out of my activities. Rather, I'm afraid that this will become normal for me because this is normal conversation at the country club. It's part of our culture, and I'm afraid that it will become part of my normal world if I become too involved in these activities.

However, their cattiness or the men's ignorance of sports doesn't prevent me from spending my Thursday afternoon hanging at the country club just like a real housewife of Charlotte should.

Just one of those days

I've had a couple of bad days recently and I'm not exactly sure why. I've been feeling a bit... useless is the word coming to mind. That's not the right word but it's the only word that seems to fully capture how I've been feeling the last few days. Let me back up and explain.

I think this is the part of being a housewife that I struggle with the most: I don't contribute. My husband works incredibly hard and makes money, and I do nothing but spend his money. That's not entirely true, but that's how it feels. This message isn't coming from my husband, it's the voice inside my head that tells me I'm not doing my part. I try to compensate by cleaning (blech), cooking, and entertaining, but I still don't feel like I'm doing my part. Maybe if I had a child I could justify being at home, but I don't, so I really don't feel like an equal partner while my husband works so hard.

Yes, I have a job and I get paid for it. However, my job involves writing a lot and I have a serious case of writer's block, at least when it comes to the topic I'm supposed to be writing about for my job. So I'm not really doing my job right now either. I am, but not well, and that contributes to my feeling of uselessness.

So here I am, a useless housewife in Charlotte.

It's days like these that make me remember that I once felt useful and that my daily life once mattered, that I was needed even. I miss those days. I liked feeling like others depended on me, that I made a difference in the lives of others, that I somehow contributed to others' well-being. I was rewarded for this contribution both spiritually and monetarily. My role as a housewife brings me neither spiritual nor monetary fulfillment and without anything to fill me up, I just have this feeling of emptiness... and uselessness.

Like I said, it's just one of those days.